Good Grief!?

I feel smarter after reading some of these...

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can ' t help but cry. I mean I ' d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey

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"Smoking kills. If you ' re killed, you ' ve lost a very important part of your life."
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become
spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign .

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"I ' ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body"
-- Winston Bennett,
University of Kentucky basketball forward .

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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

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"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I ' m just the one to do it."
--A congressional candidate in Texas .

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"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark


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"It isn ' t pollution that ' s harming the environment. It ' s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
--Al Gore, Vice President

And .

"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
-- Al Gore, VP

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"I love California . I practically grew up in Phoenix ."

-- Dan Quayle


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"The word "genius" isn ' t applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.


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"If we don ' t succeed, we run the risk of failure."
--Bill Clinton, President


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"Traditionally, most of Australia ' s imports come from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery


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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that
you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina

Tee hee...