Today we, Journey, had our first "dry run" with our equipment. The start was a little rocky - the equipment got held up at customs crossing the boarder - but we're ready to go for tomorrow morning...we think. It was an interesting day and I'm convinced that we were all living with a wide range of emotions today - excitment and anticipation, increduality that we're finally at this stage of the game, overwhelmed as the bigness of the task ahead - the physical set up alone not to mention the growth of the kingdom, and a whole lot of wondering. I've got to confess that I feel inadequate to the task but, as I said today, it reminds me to pray more because the God that I know IS adequate, in fact, He is more than sufficient! Yes, yes He is.
All of this has got me thinking about the church. I know, this is not new at all but as I watch the dynamics of our fledging group and hear stories from churches across the continent, I can't help but wonder about the struggles and victories that our church family will face.
It's a little scary to me. Being involved in ministry, especially in leadership, is, well, scary...and yet somehow I'm not willing to give up on it all. I can't. To be honest, sometimes I wish I could. I wish I could be someone who goes on Sunday, participates in the activities and goes to small group and then goes home but I don't think I can. I believe that it's my responsibility to be involved at a deeper level. Perhaps I see the scary side of it all so that I can be a support and encouragement to those who lead ahead of me and an example to those who lead beside me...if that makes any sense.
This thing we call church can be scary. It's probably the only place where your whole person is involved, particularily in leadership...which I think leaves a lot of room for some of the best wins and highest amount of satisfaction but also the greatest amount of pain. I've seen how mean people can be and I pray that somehow our body of believers will be different. Oh, I know that's probably wishful thinking seeing as how whenever you get a group of people together, you're going to get the best and the worst of what's there, like family, but a girl can hope, right?
Really, what is the church? I'm learning that it's so much bigger than programs, buildings, the songs we sing, the clothes we wear and pretty much anything that could be considered a political hotbutton. I wonder what it would be like if we had God lead our church. Not that that's not our intention but I mean, if he really lead our church, God came down in the flesh. What would that look like? Would he use powerpoint to project the scripture? Would he worry about which kids' toys were available? Would he care if the chairs were in rows or straight? Would he even use chairs? Sometimes I wish I could look from a totally outside perspective and see what we look like...what sort of image of the kingdom do we portray? I'm not saying that what we (the church in general...I'm not necessarily analyzing anyone specific here) do is wrong, necessarily, I'm just trying to think this all through. Bear with me.
So here's some things I know for sure that church is:
Church is people: fallen, broken, disfunctional, weird people. Let's face it. At some point we just need to realize that we don' have it together. Might as well get used to it. Quite frankly, this is just practice for when we're all "stuck" together in heaven...for eternity. I don't care what church you go to, what your social status is, where your kids go to school, or what sports team you cheer for (really!), if we can't get along here what's it going to look like in heaven. Perfect? Well, we might as well get started!
Church is on a mission. We're here to participate with God in his mission to reclaim his kids' for the kingdom. If what we're doing accomplishes that then let's keep going. If not, let's rethink it. Sounds simple, right!? Let's get on it!
Church is about love...'cause God is love. We show love to Him, to each other and to the world around us.
Church is about worship. That's the loving God part. How we do that IS NOT limited. Every day in every way. In everything you do, do it to the glory of God.
Church is about a journey. No one's perfect. We're all growing and learning in different ways and in different areas. I think it's exciting that we get to do it together. Seriously, put this into the context of family - obviously easier if you have a good one - and see what that looks like. Take a grandma with her grandkids. She doesn't think they're stupid 'cause they don't know stuff yet. No, in fact, she delights in the process of their learning...and she learns new things too. Big sister, in between fighting, helps out little brother, even though she's not done learning yet either. It's about a process and we're always moving...always.
Church is about doing life together. It's NOT just a Sunday morning activity...or a building. Seriously, look at the church in Acts. They ate togther, sang together, worked together, shared what they had...they did life together...and because of that they got to know each other, care for each other, trust each other and love each other more. No one hurts alone. No one celebrates alone. No one does life alone.
Maybe as I keep going, I'll think of more things to add to the list of what church is...or maybe this is enough. I don't know. I'm still figuring this out too. What I do hope is that as our little church launches and grows, that we will continue to seek God and His kingdom first.
*Okay Tim, it might be time for you to call for a Gridblog...look what happens when I'm left on my own!!
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