Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Saying "Thank you" Saves My Life

 Once again, Sarah Bessey is bringing writers from here, there and everywhere to share our stories. To share the things that are saving us, bringing us hope, and helping us put one foot in front of the other through each and every day.

As I've written before, I confess to being discouraged and disheartened. Truth be told, those words feel small for what I've been experiencing. It would be so easy to let the darkness of those feelings get the best of me. The only thing, and I mean only, that helps me find light in the darkness, the only thing that's saving me right now is gratitude. Pure, simple, deep gratitude for the things of God, as He enters into the mess we've made. Thankfulness for the things that are good. And looking for them. Focusing on them. Watching for them and putting them in front of anything and everything that could, and does, disable me from the inside out.

And so I try to breathe in the air of thankfulness.

I'm thankful for my husband who loves me deeply. I'm thankful that he makes me laugh and laughs with me. Thankful for kisses, for his hard work at his job to provide for his family, and that he thinks I have skills I don't even see. He is my biggest encourager. He gives me freedom to speak my mind - in whatever colorful words I choose - and shares his too. I know that is a gift. I love his heart. I'm thankful that he cuts the grass and makes the bed, that he is okay with my quirks and loves the great outdoors. I'm thankful we enjoy the same kinds of TV shows and for cuddles while we watch them. I'm thankful to work side by side in the garden or around the house with him.  I'm thankful for time with him. When a week has gone by (again) in which our shifts at work have been completely opposite and we haven't seen each other awake in days, I'm especially thankful for time spent. Together. And I'm thankful for us and the gift that he is.

And there's so much more.

I'm thankful for two blonde girls who have entered my life and brought so much with them. They have taken up residence in my heart. I'm thankful to call them family.

I've rediscovered (how did I forget!?) that music is the language of my soul, speaking deep to my soul and for my soul.

Novels, the stories of others, have helped provide the perfect amount of distraction and escape and I'm thankful for those that have taken the time to imagine new worlds, new times and new places for me to live in, even if just for a moment. I love books. I love the pages. I love starting a new book and anticipating all that is to come. I love the race to the end, turning each page and wondering what is around the corner. I even love the end, when a sort of stillness (or is it sadness?) takes over and I'm left wondering what on earth I'll read next.

I'm thankful for hot yoga. Breathe in, breathe out. Stretch. Pushing harder and becoming more than I thought I could. Reaching past my own limitations. Clearing my mind and focusing on the alignment of each pose, trying to make it a little more than the last time I was there. Listening to my body and learning how deeply connected the body, heart and soul truly are. Aching the next day and knowing that I've done something good for my body and my soul.

Can iPhones be good for the soul? Mine is. It's through that little gadget I stay connected to friends and family both near and far, especially when work is what it is, and let me say, I'm thankful for them too.  And it keeps me organized...sort of. Lists upon lists, calendars and apps help me juggle when there's simply too many balls (on fire!?) in the air.

Perhaps a picture truly is worth a thousand words. If that is the case, in the last couple months, I have written novels. My Canon and I have become reacquainted and I'm ridiculously thankful for a creative outlet. We truly are creative beings, in His image, aren't we? Somewhere deep down we long to make something. For me, it's capturing moments in color. It's playing with light and color and composition to honor the beauty that is out there to be found if only one is willing to look.

Oh, and summer. Summer and outside and ice cream and gardens that grow seemingly before our eyes and the bbq (did I mention that my husband is king of the grill?...he makes yummy food and I get break from the kitchen!) and the smell of sunscreen and cold adult drinks on the back deck and flowers and bike rides and coffee (always coffee) and awesome power of thunder and lightening and packing picnics and fresh fruit and veggies and fun with friends and shorts and bathing suits and laughter. Lots of laughter. I freaking love summer. Summer is definitely saving my soul.

And so it's gratitude through which I see every gift, every instance of grace, every hope through which my soul is being saved.

1 comment:

Earle Expedition said...

I know we haven't talked in a long time but I am enjoying reading your blog. I am thinking of you and sending a hug to you.
Karen (Markert)