Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Jesus Talks About His Church

This article was passed on to me this morning. Perhaps it's a little tongue in cheek but I think it gets the point across.

Jesus Talks About His Church

Brian Proffit interviewed Jesus of Nazareth, also called The Christ, founder of the Christian faith, about the church that has claimed his name.

Thanks for taking the time to talk with us, Jesus. There was a lot going on with your birthday and all, and I appreciate you setting aside this time.

Photo of Jesus not availableI did not come to be served, but to serve.1

That's a great attitude, and we really want to thank you because this has been a difficult period economically, but in general many of us still have it really good. We finally figured out this whole thing about you owning the cattle on a thousand hills and our Father knowing how to give good gifts.

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is there your heart will be also.2

Well yeah, but you want us to have the desires of our heart, right? And prosperity...

Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possesions.3

Maybe we should move on. Much has been said lately about a movement; some call it being externally focused, some call it missional. What do you think about this?

You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.4

And a light hidden inside a church building can't be seen, I get it. Glad we're on the right track there. Well, we're certainly known more in the outside world. We've got people picketing abortion clinics, people invading funerals of gays, and lots more. There's even a yard display in California of somebody dressed up like you blowing Santa Claus away with a double-barrel shotgun!

You may have heard that it was said, “Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.” But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven.5

Oh...well, of course we still love. Our church is the friendliest in town. We have a pot luck together every week, and shake hands with each other every Sunday.

If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?6

Well sure, we try to love everyone. But there are always going to be conflicts. And at least we come together on Sunday and give our 10...well, you know, we try to give a little something to the church and we sing songs to you.

If you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.7

That's asking a lot there, Jesus. I mean some people just really get under your skin, you know?

If you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.8

Yeah, well, it's not like there's that much to forgive. There have been some significant scandals among people in the church, and at least you won't find me in that list.

Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: "God, I thank you that I am not like other men—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get."

But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, "God have mercy on me, a sinner."

I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.9

But we don't hang out with all those depraved people out there. We meet for church and for Bible study and for small group and try to keep each other safe from the world.

It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: “I desire mercy, not sacrifice.” I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.10

There's a lot of tough stuff here, Jesus. A lot of it was significant when you were on earth, but isn't really relevant in the 21st century, right? I mean, the world is different now so that doesn't all still apply, right?

Hello? Jesus? Hmm, we must have gotten disconnected...

1Mark 10:45
2Matt. 6:19-21
3Luke 12:15
4Matt. 5:13-16
5Matt. 5:43-45
6Matt. 5:46-47
7Matt. 5:23-24
8Matt. 6:14
9Luke 18:10-14
10Matt. 9:12-13

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