Current Read

Venetian Betrayal, Steve Berry

Another Cotton Malone adventure to enjoy in the summer sun. I'm starting to work on the earlier ones that I've missed, filling in the blanks. It's fun.

Sometimes it's hard to see God. Sometimes it's easy to lose faith. Not belief. I know God exists. I know God is real. But sometimes life seems to hurt and keep on hurting in an ulcer inducing way; not the big world hunger, earthquakes killed thousands and war devastates sort of way but in the up close and personal sort of way. When you feel a bit like you're drowning and safety doesn't seem within reach. When all you want to do is stay in bed. When you wish those who's actions help create the chaos would JUST. GO. AWAY. When every angle of life seems a bit off kilter. When a little cabin in the woods seems like the only way to find any peace. When it feels like life is just a long string of those moments. It's then that it's hard to see God and even harder to believe that He would act, even though I know He can.

And that's when memories can serve us well. Memories of when He has acted in very real and clear ways. I hold onto those, knowing that He is the same yesterday, today and forever. That just because I can't see Him, doesn't mean He's not there. Choosing to be thankful instead of hovering in hurt. 

Thankful for our home and our backyard oasis. Time spent there with family and friends is a gift.

Thankful for small things...

...and for big things.

Current Read

Fire, Kristin Cashore

Diving in to another world of fantasy, politics, war, royal families, treachery and magic. Oh, and a strong, if not slightly tortured, heroine.

The truth is, sometimes these worlds of fantasy and fiction are the most perfect summer escape from the things of the real world.

How does our garden grow...

One of the small joys in my summer (so far!) has been our back yard. I've joked often that it's my favorite room in the house but, honestly, it's no laughing matter. I love my yard. I love my garden. I love watching the growth as life blooms in our little oasis. 

Raspberries. We put the canes in last year and have been pleased to see the fruit of our labor.

Lavender!

Tomatoes on the way!

Peas.

Dill, already making an appearance in whatever delicacies we whip up.

cilantro. I'm dreaming of salsa...and cilantro lime grilled chicken...

Oregano

Green onions.

Slightly stunted cucumbers

Tiny tims making an appearance, one by one.

Riding Along

My back yard

Current Read

For someone who loves to read books, hunt for books, talk about books, look at books and wander through shelves of books as much as I do, finding this online friend's blog series was just about as good as that good ole' proverbial candy shop. All this week, she's posting 10 books a day (each day has a theme of some sort).

And my list goes on.

 The Amber Room, Steve Berry

 I just finished this one. Plowed through it, really, thanks to warm week nights, a back yard that feels just as much like home as the inside and a long weekend. It was okay. The thing is, it certainly wasn't my favorite of Berry's and I truly do enjoy his stuff. Truth is, if I had read this one first, I might not have kept going with his other ones. So there. It was okay. Okay.











The Diamond of Darkhold, Jeanne DuPrau

This one is just to finish off the series and see what they do with it. A quick young adult fiction read seems like a good choice in a week where I'm doing a lot of class prep and the summer sun is calling me outside.

Go, Marissa, Go!

Our sweet girl is in Chicago this week competing in the North American Irish Dance Competition. She recalled in her competition this morning for the first time ever...that means she did well...also means she'll dance again...this afternoon.

Marissa and Colin at the last local competition of the year.

Good luck, Marissa. Daddy and I are excited for you and very proud of you!

Current Read

Mad Ship, Robin Hobb

Marketing geniuses write in trilogies so that when you get suckered in by the first one, they are guaranteed to pull you into two more books. Suckers like me fall for it every time. For real, though, we have serpents, pirates, dragons, ancient cities, magic, rebellion, civil war and political intrigue...with great characters. I'm totally in.







Ship of Destiny, Robin Hobb

When I finished Mad Ship, I immediately picked this one up and was relieved to see that it picked up exactly where the last one left off. I feel like I'm a part of what's going on - feeling the heartache, excitement, hope and fear of the characters involved - and know I'm going to experience more than a bit of my own sadness when these are done. Oh, the first world problems we face.

A Splash of Color

The Calgary herald book drive and sale

This is one of my favorite events of the year in calgary! For more information, check here.

May Flowers

Current Read

The Jefferson Key, Steve Berry

I just finished this one. Ate it up. I needed a break from Robin Hobb's fantasy world and Steve Berry's Dan Brownish style was perfect. Note. I feel like all the hooplah over Dan Brown's books a few years ago is still enough to warrant using his name to describe a style. The only down side to this whole situation is realizing, more and more with each book I read, that Berry has written his books, with the exception of a few stand alones, chronicling a character and are best read in order. Guess what? I have read 1, 6 and 7. AND, I'm pretty sure, but not 100%, that I have picked up at least one of the gap filling required reading for $1 at some book sale somewhere but have it packed up with half of our personal belongings in boxes in the garage. I am so thankful for a husband who also enjoys books. There is no judgement in him when, upon hearing my dilemma, offers to dig through the boxes on a long weekend Sunday afternoon to find out. That's a good man.

Ship of Magic, Robin Hobb

Back into the world of fantasy I go. I'm only a few pages in but I'm already getting the impression that this trilogy will be far more magical and fantastical (I'm allowed to make up my own words once in a while) than the last trilogy. Okay, sure the last one finished with dragons and magical powers of connection but this one started off with serpents (aka dragons in the water), oracles and magical treasure.

Do you ever just want to take a day, call in dead and read stories all day long? I do! Thank goodness for long weekends and a family that sleeps in. It might not be all day but a good hour will do.

I created this blog years ago to write. For me. All sorts of random things that were on my mind over the years, I have processed here, some of them deep and some of them ridiculously shallow. I enjoy writing. I enjoy the puzzle of putting words together to express things well (hopefully). I enjoy the expression of it. I strive to be thoughtful, reflective and considerate of others when I write being that it is simply another expression of how I hope to live, choosing my words and topics carefully and respectfully. I consider it a bit of a purging, too, forcing out the fragments of thought, processing them in black and white. There have been times when there would have been no rest from the musing if it hadn't been for a place, for this place, my safe place, to write them all down. I don't write for anyone. I write for me. If there are those that read it - and I know you're out there. Thank you! You help keep this fun - but still, I write for me.

Lately, however, this place hasn't been as safe and so, you may have noticed, I have been a bit more absent or, at least, a bit more superficial. At first I blamed it on time. "I'm just too darn busy!" Then, I blamed it on the depth of hurt and difficulty the last 16 months or so have brought into my life.  I believe it was a wee rabbit that said "My momma said if you don't have anything nice, don't say anything at all." Many a venting post could have been written if I hadn't held that to be true!

While those two excuses have some merit, the truth is, I've been afraid. This has not been as safe a place as it once was. While most of you have been encouraging, or at least taken the rabbit's words to heart and been silent, there have been the odd one who, reading something I have written through their own perspective, have taken it upon themselves to reprimand, condemn and otherwise criticize me for something they have read. Something they have taken out of context or read through the lenses of their own perspective. As a perfectionist and as someone who does not want to cause offense, I have taken these criticisms to heart. I have questioned my motives and the words I have chosen. I have been afraid to write for fear of causing offense.

Part of the healing process I am journeying is to evaluate those things that are freeing for me. Outlets that help me find peace or joy. The truth is, writing is one of those things. Collecting my thoughts here is good for me. Whether I like it or not, I am being forced to face my fear. Forced to face the criticism and evaluate whether it was justified or simply someone lashing out of their own "stuff." Forced to investigate my words and my intentions. Forced to realize that yes, indeed, I have been a big, fat, chicken. Pushed forward to find some peace and remember how this all started. I write for me. In order to heal, I need to continue to write for me. I am thankful for my husband who loves me in it all. I am thankful for bloggers like, Kathy Escobar, who have written extensively about the healing process of this kind of thing and have reminded me to be myself since everyone else is taken.  I am thankful, too, for friends who send packages in the mail with quotes like this one on the package:

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.  ~ Dr. Seuss

So here it is. No more being a big, fat chicken. Or even just a little bit chicken. If words in black and white are going to be part of my journey then they will be honest ones. Appropriate, respectful, humbled, broken and sometimes colorful words, sometimes deeper than others, but always honest, always truthful and always me.

Round 3

Well, this year's playoffs have pretty much been nothing like anyone expected or predicted. Unless you're Sutter and you're sitting back with your smug little grin waiting for your moment to say "I told you so." Ug. Wipe that smug look off your face.

So here we are at the Conference Finals and we're left with four teams vying for Lord Stanley's Cup. They're all hopeful if not a little worse for wear. Is anyone in Canada even still watching this thing? Anyone at all watching?


Eastern Conference


New York Rangers (1) VS NJ Devils (6)

New York. The only first seed still in this thing. And New Jersey. A battle of goaltenders. The Rangers haven't been flashy through the first two rounds. There haven't been a lot of hard hitting games or highlight reel plays. They are not an offensive force. There has, however, been solid defense and self control (not a lot of penalty minutes for this team). Lundquist has been the key to that solid defense, rallying the troops around him. They have simply played solid, well-rounded, team effort hockey, outliving and outlasting their opponents and staying steady in the face of close games. They seem like they are unfazed and unrattled...unless, of course, you're their coach who seems to always be a little rattled.

While they seemed to be a little off their game in the first round, New Jersey, especially Brodeur, came back to form in the last round against Philly, getting a well-rounded, all team effort from the whole team right from first line to fourth. Offensively, they've got guys like Kovalchuk playing well. The guy's got 12 points in the first two rounds. Not shabby...as long as he stays healthy.

So how do they match up? By stats, Lundquist comes out on top of the goal tending battle. By stats. In the regular season, the teams split their match up with three games a piece, New York scoring more goals. But this is playoffs.

New York Rangers in 6.

Western Conference

Phoenix Coyotes (3) vs LA Kings (8)

Like the east, both of these teams are basing a lot of their playoff hopes on their goaltenders. And they can. Both Quick and Smith have proven themselves through the first two rounds. Both teams have had dismal power play performances. But hey, when you have penalty kills like they do, does it matter? Offensively, they've both been getting well rounded production with at least 13 players recording markers for their teams. Through these playoffs, LA seems to have been a bit more dynamic. They're riding the wave, so to speak. When two teams are as evenly matched (they came into the post season with only 2 points difference in their regular season totals), it seems that that will make the difference. It's like Edmonton (2006) and Calgary (2004); and 8th place seed, riding the wave.

So yes, as much as I would love to see that smug look wiped clean off Coach Sutter's face, I'm saying LA in 5.

And, just in case you're wondering, I have my Stanley Cup winner picked. I told Colin yesterday while sitting on the back deck in the sunshine. Stay tuned.

Round 2

I almost didn't bother with round 2 after the fiasco of round 1. Wowzers! Feeling a little gun shy! It's a really good thing that I wasn't in any sort of hockey pool. I'd have lost big although I imagine there's a lot of pools out there that are in big trouble.

So, now that most people's favorites (including the "professionals") - Boston, Pittsburgh and Vancouver- are out, what's left? It's anybody's game, so to speak.

EASTERN CONFERENCE

NY Rangers VS Washington Capitals
So I still don't trust the offensive prowess of Washington to offer up too much. They were saved in the last round by the stellar play of Holtby...yes, the rookie I wrote off for round 1. Surprise! The kid's got skill, I'll give him that for sure but can you ride a rookie to the cup?  Both teams are tired out from 7 game series but fired up by pulling into the second. The Rangers are riding with a bit more offense and some solid defense. I'm going to give it to the Rangers in 7.  

Philadelphia Flyers VS NJ Devils
I really didn't think that Philly had it in them but seeing the way they had their way with Pittsburgh, they're looking far better than I'd thought. A team that found their stride. Was all the fight and fire simply because of a first round match up against a bitter rival or can they match it in this round? They've had a break too; time to recover from the abuse they took in round 1 and time to watch the other teams and see what was in store. NJ's win was a whole team effort, from rookie to veteran. Brodeur has been solid.  It'll be a battle, tempers will flare, and my best guess is Philly in 6.

WESTERN CONFERENCE

St.Louis Blues VS LA Kings
It seems that St. Louis is the only team to come out of round 1 seemingly unscathed. They played a serious series, solid and somewhat predictable.  LA, on the other hand, rode the wave and are probably still feeling a bit elated after their upset win over the President's Trophy winners. So here's the deal. St.Louis is probably the better all around team. If they play solid and steady like they have, they'll be successful. They will need to figure out the goaltending of LA's Quick who stood solid all through round 1, facing a ridiculous amount of shots every game.  I'll pick St. Louis in 6.

Phoenix VS Nashville
Meh. I still stand behind Nashville and Pekka Rinne, even though Phoenix surprised me (thankfully) and took out Chicago. Two pretty evenly matched teams but I'm going with Nashville in 6.

I needed to hear this - or, should I say "read this" - today.

From my favorite show!

Source: Uploaded by user via Bonnie on Pinterest

Current Read

Assassin's Quest, Robin Hobb

Seriously enjoying these. The last one started slower than the first one but then got rolling into a web of intrigue, treachery and political division...and did I mention magic and kings and heirs and princesses and murder? Just good storytelling. Exactly what the doctor ordered!

After struggling through another church service this weekend, wondering where my heart has gone and feeling completely at a loss thinking about how to renew or rediscover a relationship with this man called Jesus, a man I once felt close to but seem to have lost in it all, I admit, I was beginning to doubt that there was hope for me at all. But there's always hope, isn't there? Today it comes in the form of a blog post, this blog post, that lets me know I'm not alone. I'm not the only one who has found herself in this place. There is light at the end of the tunnel and this process does, indeed, have purpose.